Grief Counseling in Wilmington, NC
Allora Rise Counseling and Therapy provides grief counseling for death, anticipatory grief, ambiguous loss, pregnancy and infant loss, and the losses that are not deaths at all, in Wilmington, North Carolina, and by telehealth throughout the state.
or book a free fifteen-minute consultation first
WRITTEN WITH
Madilyn “Maddy” Dombrowski, MSW, LCSW-A / Delaney Dow, LCMHC-A / Anna Salino-Hugg, LCSW / Alexandra “Lexie” Mueller, MA, LCMHC-A / Margaret Kotz, LCMHC-A
What grief actually looks like in a session
Sometimes it is crying. Often it is not.
Our therapists describe grief arriving as silence, anger, avoidance, numbness, guilt, relief, humor, dismissal, distraction, fast talking, or a long stretch of quiet before someone finds a way in. Sometimes it is entirely logistical: a shift in family dynamics, an anniversary coming up, responsibilities that belonged to someone else and now belong to you.
Some people want to talk about the person they lost. Others feel too disconnected, or genuinely do not know where to begin.
What our therapists hold in common is that the room does not ask you to minimize it and does not ask you to perform it.
A client may come in one week and feel joy while sharing a meaningful memory, and come in the next week feeling angry. I respect the waves that come with grief, and I want clients to know they do not have to perform their grief.
MADDY DOMBROWSKI, MSW, LCSW-A
What people expect, and what it actually is
People generally expect one of two things. That grief therapy means arriving, crying, being handed tissues and comfort, and leaving. Or that therapy will fix the grief.
It does neither. Grief does not get fixed, and our therapists are direct about that rather than implying otherwise. What changes is your relationship to it.
It is also not about moving on, and it is not about reaching a point where the loss stops mattering. The work is closer to being able to hold the grief and experience joy again, understanding that it does not have to be one or the other. There is no expectation to feel less sad. In practice, sessions might involve creative expression, writing, identifying emotions, reshaping thoughts that have turned on you, emotion regulation, mindfulness, and a good deal of sitting in the discomfort without rushing it.
Kinds of loss we work with
Grief counseling here is not limited to bereavement. Several of the losses our therapists see most often are not deaths.
DEATH
A parent, a spouse, a child, a sibling, a friend, a pet. Whether the loss was sudden or came after a long illness.
Treated by all ten therapists below.
ANTICIPATORY GRIEF
Grieving before the loss, including after a terminal diagnosis. One of the most common and least acknowledged forms.
Treated by Anna Salino-Hugg, Margaret Kotz, and Rachael Hodge.
PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS
Miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss, alongside infertility and the grief of family building that has not gone as planned.
Treated by Jax Sullivan, Anna Salino-Hugg, and Yolandi Rause.
AMBIGUOUS LOSS
Losing someone who is still here, or losing them without ever getting an answer. Dementia is the clearest example, estrangement is another, and so is a body or a health future you are still waiting on answers about.
Treated by Anna Salino-Hugg, Delaney Dow, and Yolandi Rause.
LOSS THAT IS NOT A DEATH
Divorce and separation, the end of an important relationship, a job, a physical ability, a mental status, a version of your life you expected to have.
Treated by Alexandra Mueller, Anna Salino-Hugg, and Abby Alldread.
IDENTITY LOSS
Grieving who you were, which often surfaces alongside another loss and is rarely named as grief at all.
Treated by Maddy Dombrowski and Anna Salino-Hugg.
If you think you are grieving wrong, or for too long
This is one of the most common things people bring in. Grief has no timeline and no rulebook. It is not linear. It does not follow a schedule, and it arrives when you least expect it. Two people can grieve the same person completely differently.
Several of our therapists will also get curious rather than reassuring, and ask what is putting that pressure on you, because the belief that you are doing grief wrong usually comes from somewhere specific.
The one exception is coping that starts costing you something. If drinking, or anything else that numbs more than it helps, has become the way through, that can be part of the work rather than a reason to stay away.
How long, and what better means
HOW LONG
A few months to something considerably longer, depending on the loss. Where Interpersonal Psychotherapy is the approach, that work often runs twelve to sixteen sessions. Some clients move to every other week or monthly rather than finishing outright.
WHAT BETTER MEANS
Not forgetting, and not the absence of sadness. Our therapists describe it as being able to function again, sleep again, feel joy around people you love without guilt, and look forward to something. One uses the analogy of a wound becoming a scar: the wound remains, and your relationship to it is different.
Who to see
Ten therapists here work with grief.
Shaina Frank
MA, LCMHC
Grief when it sits alongside the anxiety and trauma. Adults 18 and up. Cargo District and telehealth.
Anna Salino-Hugg
LCSW
Bereavement, anticipatory grief, ambiguous loss, and infertility. Adults 18 and up. Wrightsville Beach and telehealth.
Rachael Hodge
LPA, LCAS
Grief when it sits alongside depression, anxiety, or a loved one’s addiction. Adults 18 and up. Wrightsville Beach and telehealth.
Margaret Kotz
LCMHC-A
Parent loss and anticipatory grief around a diagnosis. Adults 18 and older. Cargo District and telehealth.
Alexandra "Lexie" Mueller
MA, LCMHC-A
Spousal loss, divorce, and pet loss. Adults 18 and up. Cargo District and telehealth.
Maddy Dombrowski
MSW, LCSW-A
Grief and traumatic loss, shaped by work in hospice and trauma-focused settings. Women 18 and older. Wrightsville Beach and telehealth.
Delaney Dow
LCMHC-A
Grief, including ambiguous loss such as dementia. Children 10 and up, teens, and adults. Wrightsville Beach and telehealth.
Yolandi Rause
LCMHC-S
Grief centered on women’s health. Women 18 and up. Wrightsville Beach and telehealth.
Abby Alldread
LCMHC, LCAS
Grief when it arrives alongside trauma, relationships, or recovery work. Adults 18 and up. Cargo District and telehealth.
Jax Sullivan
LCMHC-A
Acute and traumatic grief, and pregnancy and infant loss. Adults 18 and up. Cargo District and telehealth.
Common questions
Can therapy actually help with grief after losing someone?
Yes. It does not remove the loss, but it gives you somewhere to put what you are carrying while you find your footing again. Our therapists describe real progress as being able to function, sleep, feel joy without guilt, and look forward to something, while the loss itself stays real.
Can I do grief counseling if the loss happened years ago?
Yes. There is no expiration on grief, and a loss you have been carrying quietly for years is just as valid a reason to come in as a recent one. Sometimes it takes another life change, an anniversary, or simply running out of the energy to keep carrying it alone, to bring someone in years later.
I need help with grief. Where do I start?
Book a free fifteen-minute consultation with any of the therapists below, or call or text the office and we will point you to one directly. You do not need to know what kind of loss it is or how long you have been carrying it before you reach out.
There is no right way to grieve.
Book a session online, or a free fifteen-minute consultation first with the therapist of your choice. You can also email info@allorarise.com or call or text 910-408-2302.